Y’all ever imagine the absolute chaos of the egos trying to play Uno
Dark is fuming in the corner, baffled at his hellish powers having no effect on the outcome of the cards. Google is in a similar predicament, as his counting algorithms are failing him. The two would have given up an hour ago, if it weren’t for a certain pink-haired psychopath who somehow keeps ending up with all the wilds. Dark’s shell cracks violently with each drawn card. Google’s circuits reach critical heat levels with each wild card.
Ed continues playing, using superstition after superstition. He’s had to be told at least seven times that this is NOT poker and the same rules do not apply. He, however, insists they do. His hand is approximately a mile long and he assumes that means he’s winning. Every time a 7 is played he cries out “LUCKY SEVENS” and takes a swig of his drink. After an hour, his outbursts have just become white noise. He still plays smoothly enough to be considered “in the game”, but to be honest… is anyone really paying attention to what he’s playing anymore?
Dr. Iplier, however HAD given up long ago. His pride was strong, but not so strong as to be blind to the obvious cheating going on. The Host never even entered the game, seeing what would ensue. Yet, he will occasionally appear over someone’s shoulder and suggest a card to play, effectively scaring the life out of them and causing a whole hand of cards to go flying. Wilford will then declare they restart the game, because “seeing someone’s hand is unfair~”… much to the agony of everyone else.
Yandere has taken it WAY too seriously. She believes if she doesn’t win, it shows she is inferior and senpai will never love her. A knife has been pulled on Wilford more than once. She saves up all her +2 cards for whenever she has the chance to drop them on him. Of course, she never can, and often ends up dropping them on Dark by accident, which in turn kills a little bit more of whatever soul he may have.
Bim thinks he’s winning. Like. All the time. Even when he has ten cards and the others have four. He takes pleasure in poking fun at everyone else for their stupidity in strategy (he still doesn’t understand the reverse card, though). While his blind optimism is a pleasant retraction from everyone else’s sheer fury, the unbridled cockiness eventually gets him locked in the crawlspace, which has been labeled as “annoying pissbaby jail”. Of course Wilford always frees him just a few minutes later. And the cycle continues.
They play until the sun comes up. Google’s battery has drained to under 5%. Dark can’t keep himself together. Yan is screaming in Japanese and throwing knives at Wilford. Ed has passed out in the middle of the floor and they are now using him as a table. Bim is sobbing about how him not winning yet is the most homophobic thing he’s ever dealt with. Doc waits until everyone passes out from rage, with the exception of Wil, who is still in delight, and then neatly collects all the cards and stacks them up before throwing blankets over his fellow egos. They all still find cards hiding places a month later, each new find sparking a fight about the Night that Shall Not be Mentioned.
Yesterday I went to buy some yarn and so you know how annoying it is when fucking people put those stupid bullshit “don’t use this, wool is murder” PETA stickers on the label?
First of all, stop defacing stock in someone’s store. You’re not clever or saving the planet or anything. You’re making it hard for customers to shop and see the info they need on the label (yardage, weight, dye lot)… You’re making employees spend hours peeling the damn things off, and in some cases, you’re causing damage to the label and or yarn itself. That means loss to the company, which affects employees who probably make minimum wage, you shit bags. You want to make change happen? Contact corporate, you fuckhead. That’s where decisions are made.
Second of all, wool is not murder. Are you fucking stupid? (Obviously the answer is yes). It’s a fucking haircut for a sheep. They’ve been domesticated so long that if we don’t sheer them, it’s bad. Yes, some sheep don’t live in ideal conditions. Got a problem with that? Going to a yarn store and putting stickers on things isn’t going to change it or the minds of customers. For fuck’s sake, you absolute cockwomble, go to the yarn companies. Make them use wool providers that use humane conditions for their yarn, like A LOT OF YARN COMPANIES DO.
And third of all.
You. You precious, empty-headed little shitnugget. You complete and total sawdust-for-brains.
You put your fucking stickers all over acrylic yarn.
There’s no fucking wool in there. It’s all synthetic fiber. Basically, it’s plastic.
So for those of you that read The End is never the Real End, I should have explained some things about Derek. If you haven’t read the story yet go do that before continuing as it spoils some stuff.
Eric wasn’t expecting to wake up again, to see anything again.
PS. Feel Free to send me asks about Eric now! I want to talk about my new son!
Death was calming really. No pressure to do better, to be more then he was able to be. No being compared of to the brothers that had been ripped away from him. No more living in fear and pain.
So when he felt softness under him, the slight ache in his stumps, and heard noise around him, he was scared. Scared that he was going to wake up back at the warehouse, his dad mad he overslept, scared that he wasn’t going to see his brothers, scared that he was so pathetic that he couldn’t even die right.
It was a long time before he managed to work up the courage to open his eyes. This wasn’t the dinky room he used to share with Berrick, Terrick and Marrick. No instead he was in a soft green meadow, the soft sun blinding him for a split second before it focused on the tall oak trees, birds and squirrels flittering around the red and yellow leaves.
Okay, he was in Heaven apparently… how else could he explain the bliss of being outside surrounded by everything he loved. Only if this was heaven…
I know you might be tired of hearing about this, but even if you hate Pewdiepie you should still subscribe. Why? Because T-series is a major corporation that buys its subs and cheats to win, Felix has tried his best to gain his spot and rightfully deserves it. Has he been perfect, HELL NO. Felix has made a ton of mistakes, but then again who doesn’t. I bet you t-series makes mistakes, but I don’t see people bitching about that.
Felix has tried to make this a positive event as well, he’s donating to a charity that helps stop child labor in India, discouraged people from making racist comments against Indians, and has stated that he doesn’t actually care if T-series takes his spot, he’s just having fun. And honestly who isn’t?
T-series is a massive corporation so nobody is being hurt by people making fun of them, humans tend to unite over hatred of the same thing, and right now that thing is T- series.
So sub to the man, join the party and laugh. Even if you used to sub to Felix but stopped and don’t like his content anymore, resubscribe for the old pewds, subscribe for the man who made screaming at a camera while playing games cool, subscribe for his dogs, for his fiancé, for the spite of T-series itself. The reason doesn’t matter, just do it.
Small child full of Bees 
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